Archives for May 2016

Split pants, more weight-loss success and my ‘People of Walmart’ moment

May 27, 2016 by Jody 1 Comment

Consider this a warning: It’s possible I will be featured on the cringe-worthy “People of Walmart” website in the near future.

No, I wasn’t strutting around the produce section in a tutu or a French bikini. I only do that in the home and gardening section.

My potentially embarrassing outfit at America’s favorite corner mom and pop megastore happened because of a physics equation.

Force + resistance x debilitated matter = fissuring

I’m just going to caption this as a splitting image of my success.

You can call it The Split Pants Formula.

After dropping my Africa-bound wife and two oldest kids off at the airport on Thursday morning, I was supposed to go into work quickly and then take my car for a service appointment.

The loud RIIIIIIP sound coming from my nether regions forced me to change plans. I was too far away from home to change pants, so I headed to the nearest Walmart for a shopping spree. I’m sure I was a sight to behold, walking with my legs tightly pressed together while pushing a cart to shield my ripped pants from plain view. Fortunately, the jeans tore low enough so as to not expose my whitey-tighties to the world. Sorry, creepers.

This is not my first experience with ripped pants.
[Read more…]

I’m saying ‘WOW!’ — and you can too

May 20, 2016 by Jody 4 Comments

There’s a scene in Forrest Gump when everybody’s favorite purveyor of boxed-chocolate philosophy dramatically lifts himself up from a rocking chair, slowly walks off his front porch and takes off sprinting.

“That day, for no particular reason,” he recalled, “I decided to go for a little run.”

First, he ran to the end of his road. Next, he high-tailed it through his small town of Greensbow, Alabama, and continued through his county and across his state. From there, Gump headed to the Pacific Coast. He then left a Santa Monica pier and kept running in the other direction until he arrived at a lighthouse on the Atlantic Ocean shore.

“And so,” a woman eagerly listening to his story on a bus bench exclaimed, “you just ran!”

“Yeah,” Forrest responded, matter of factly.

As the story goes, Gump kept on running and running and running for years, criss-crossing America in an epic adventure, eventually gaining followers, inspiring people — “It happens” and “Have a nice day!” 🙂 — and attracting the curiosity of media members.

“I just felt like running,” he told reporters.

It’s not a perfect metaphor, but that same feeling happened to me earlier this year. [Read more…]

Whoa! My doctor is happy with me

May 13, 2016 by Jody 11 Comments

In March, I scheduled a doctor’s appointment. I was at my all-time-high weight. I felt miserable in so many ways. I feared that my eating habits and lack of exercise had caused me to get type II diabetes. I was a mess.

Fortunately, my blood sugar was at a decent level.

My blood pressure was a tad high, but not terrible.

My swollen legs had edema, so my doctor prescribed me a diuretic.

He also made a comment that really made me think. [Read more…]

About that awful Biggest Loser story …

May 6, 2016 by Jody 10 Comments

Me at The Cheesecake Factory? What the? Don’t worry. I resisted everything normal people eat there and settled for a much healthier salad. I wasn’t even tempted to order cheesecake. No, really!

Did you read that shocking and depressing New York Times article that came out earlier this week?

And, no, I’m not talking about the presidential campaign.

I’m referring to the article that sent tremors through the weight-loss world. The one in which it was revealed that the vast majority of the 16 contestants from Season 8 of The Biggest Loser reality show have gained back most if not all of their weight.

While that’s a bummer for them, the worst part about the article was how it focused on the concept that the bodies of overweight people do a pretty effective search-and-rescue mission for lost pounds. Their metabolisms apparently slow down to the pace of an 80-year-old grandpa driving in the fast lane, too.

There is more dreary info about our body’s so-called “set point” and the hunger-controlling hormone leptin, but I’m going to spare you the disheartening details.

My takeaway from the article? [Read more…]

Challenge results: I’m changing for good!

May 1, 2016 by Jody Leave a Comment

On April Fool’s Day, I began a month-long weight-loss fundraiser called “Jody’s Changing For Good Challenge.” I’d already decided to start a new weight-loss/health program, so I figured it would be fun to try to earn some money to help my wife and two oldest kids for their upcoming humanitarian trip to Kenya, Africa.

I love the multifaceted changing-for-good concept.

I’ve been obese my entire adult life. It’s time to change that for good.

If I can do some good and assist a worthy cause while improving my health and shedding pounds, how awesome is that?

Another bonus: I love that others have been sparked to make positive changes in their eating and exercising habits because I’ve been living my life out loud.

This has been a special month for me.

[Read more…]

Archives for May 2016

Split pants, more weight-loss success and my ‘People of Walmart’ moment

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I’m saying ‘WOW!’ — and you can too

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Whoa! My doctor is happy with me

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About that awful Biggest Loser story …

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Challenge results: I’m changing for good!

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