I’ve been a newspaper guy for nearly 20 years — I started as a 9-year-old, thanks for asking — and have noticed that most writers go through distinct phases in their careers.

1. The I Should Write A Book Because Everybody (Especially My Mom) Tells Me I Should Write A Book Phase.

2. The I Should Write A Blog Because Books Are Really Long Phase.

3. The I Should Go Into Sports Writing BECAUSE FREE FOOD AND SPORTING EVENTS Phase!

4. The Maybe Becoming A Circus Elephant Manicurist Would Be Smarter Than Being In The Newspaper Industry Right Now Phase.

I’m experiencing a bit of each phase.

Which is why I’m starting a blog on how to write books about a sports writer who moonlights as a circus animal toenail trimmer.

Phew! Over that phase.

I’m really starting a blog because I enjoy writing and trying to make people laugh (or occasionally cry). So what if I’m 10 years late to this blogging party!? As background, I’m a full-time sports writer, covering the Utah Jazz for the Deseret News in Salt Lake City, Utah — and it’s an awesome job. But I also want to write about my non-sports-related experiences, which range between wacky, hysterical, heartwarming, heartbreaking and completely fabricated to cover up the fact that much of my life is mundane.

Eh, voilà … a blog! (That’s French for … well, something that French people say when they set up blogs.)

For clicks and giggles, I plan to tackle a wide range of topics in this blog:

• Man vs. Diet (hopefully my weight-loss tales will be of the I LOST 100 POUNDS IN 100 DAYS, ASK ME HOW! variety)

• Family fun (my wife said I could spill the beans — the only thing that hasn’t been spilled on our kitchen floor — about our crazy-but-lovable six-pack)

• Road kill (mostly work-related travel to NBA cities, including Detroit, Cleveland and Milwaukee in the winter!)

• Foodstuffs (Pinterest told me I had to do this)

• Pedicure tips for circus animals (not really … unless there’s a better chance you’ll return to read about that instead of my life).

Another reason why I’ve decided to blog about my life? OK, besides becoming a millionaire?

Kid President told me to. At least that’s what I took away from this tweet:

Maybe one day we’ll all remember that real people read the things we post online. You matter. Your words matter. Be more awesome.

— Kid President (@iamkidpresident) September 24, 2013

Wise words, Mr. Kid Pres. Who doesn’t need more awesome in their lives!? By the way, if you’ve never seen his inaugural address, do yourself a favor and watch it now.

Which reminds me of this photo:

Now, let’s create something more awesome …