Athletes don’t remember nice things you write about them, but elephants never forget when you take good care of their cuticles.
I’ve been a newspaper guy for nearly 20 years — I started as a 9-year-old, thanks for asking — and have noticed that most writers go through distinct phases in their careers.
1. The I Should Write A Book Because Everybody (Especially My Mom) Tells Me I Should Write A Book Phase.
2. The I Should Write A Blog Because Books Are Really Long Phase.
3. The I Should Go Into Sports Writing BECAUSE FREE FOOD AND SPORTING EVENTS Phase!
4. The Maybe Becoming A Circus Elephant Manicurist Would Be Smarter Than Being In The Newspaper Industry Right Now Phase.
I’m experiencing a bit of each phase.
Which is why I’m starting a blog on how to write books about a sports writer who moonlights as a circus animal toenail trimmer.
Phew! Over that phase.
This is what the Internet used to do to me before I started my blog. I haven’t yawned since.
I’m really starting a blog because I enjoy writing and trying to make people laugh (or occasionally cry). So what if I’m 10 years late to this blogging party!? As background, I’m a full-time sports writer, covering the Utah Jazz for the Deseret News in Salt Lake City, Utah — and it’s an awesome job. But I also want to write about my non-sports-related experiences, which range between wacky, hysterical, heartwarming, heartbreaking and completely fabricated to cover up the fact that much of my life is mundane.
Eh, voilà … a blog! (That’s French for … well, something that French people say when they set up blogs.)
For clicks and giggles, I plan to tackle a wide range of topics in this blog:
• Man vs. Diet (hopefully my weight-loss tales will be of the I LOST 100 POUNDS IN 100 DAYS, ASK ME HOW! variety)
• Family fun (my wife said I could spill the beans — the only thing that hasn’t been spilled on our kitchen floor — about our crazy-but-lovable six-pack)
• Road kill (mostly work-related travel to NBA cities, including Detroit, Cleveland and Milwaukee in the winter!)
• Foodstuffs (Pinterest told me I had to do this)
• Pedicure tips for circus animals (not really … unless there’s a better chance you’ll return to read about that instead of my life).
Another reason why I’ve decided to blog about my life? OK, besides becoming a millionaire?
Kid President told me to. At least that’s what I took away from this tweet:
Maybe one day we’ll all remember that real people read the things we post online. You matter. Your words matter. Be more awesome.
— Kid President (@iamkidpresident) September 24, 2013
Wise words, Mr. Kid Pres. Who doesn’t need more awesome in their lives!? By the way, if you’ve never seen his inaugural address, do yourself a favor and watch it now.
Which reminds me of this photo:
Kid President took time out of his busy presidential schedule to pose for a picture with Salt Lake Tribune sports writer Bill Oram (right) and I at the Memphis International Airport on April 18, 2013. As you can see from the photo, my entire body was experiencing warm-fuzzies in this unforgettable moment.
Now, let’s create something more awesome …