(Spoiler alert: I hate being the fat guy on a plane. I hate how uncomfortable it is for me. I hate how uncomfortable it is for others. I hate that I felt like I needed to create a clever name for a seatbelt extender. I hate it all — from trying to squeeze into tiny latrines and trays that poke into my belly to bumping into everybody while walking down the aisle. Apologies in advance if you have to sit next to me. With that in mind, I wrote my thoughts during a short flight to document what it’s like being the fat guy on a plane. I’m hoping it will help me do something to improve my flight plight, among other things.)
Unfortunately, I actually weigh 15-20 pounds more than I did here in February of 2015. I’m usually as miserable in airplanes as I look in this photo, though.
Flight DL 4196 • 11:52 a.m. • March 3, 2016
I’m seated in 17B on a Canadian Regional Jet, headed from Toronto to Detroit. Memphis, one of my favorite culinary destinations in the world, is my destination. I spoke to a colleague last night about how much I love the BBQ in the home of Elvis. Central BBQ, next to the infamous Lorraine Motel, has the best collection of ribs, lathered in succulent sauce, juicy brisket, smoked turkey, baked beans, cole slaw and other sides, if you ask me.
I just stretched my back and felt a slight pop, a comfort-producing pop. My body is contorted and squeezed into the narrow blue leather Delta seat at an awkward angle so that I can fit between the man of average stature in 17A and the aisle arm rest. His black coat and elbow are resting against the left side of my body, which is too large to be contained in the space of one airline seat.
The aisle armrest is currently lodged between a blob of my belly fat, my right thigh and a rib or two. I’m leaning to the right in an effort to keep as much of me as possible away from my sleeping seat neighbor and on the side of the aisle. I’d rather be extra uncomfortable than intrude on his expensive personal space more than I already am. That is why I spend so much time religiously trying to get row seats, after all.
We’ve taxied to the de-icing station andi
I nodded off while thinking of what to write next. I didn’t set an alarm this morning and was fortunate to wake up at 9:22 a.m. so I could meet another writer in the lobby at 9:30 to pick up a cab. I didn’t sleep very well. I rarely do nowadays between waking up to go pee and, even worse.
I just nodded off again.
Even worse than waking up to relieve myself, my sleep is often interrupted by acid reflux attacks. It’s not unusual for me to wake up while coughing up acid, which sears my throat. B.
I just nodded off again and my short sausage-like index finger accidentally hit the letter B on the keypad of my iPhone 6 Plus.
We’re zooming down the runway and just got enough propulsion and lift to become airborne. My body shifted in the seat a bit and I’m thinking that I’m very happy this is only a 40-something-minute flight. I’m now wondering what the person next to me on my connecting flight will be like. Hopefully it’s a thin woman or child. Or better yet, maybe nobody will be next to me. That would be perfect. I’m only Gold Medallion so I’ve given up hope that I’ll have high enough status to get a first-class upgrade out of Detroit, which is a hopping Delta hub.
We’re far enough into this flight — ah, there is the 10,000 feet above altitude chime — that I’m going to lift this arm rest up so my body can expand to its normal size and relax a little. I just shifted my body and am more comfortable now. I’m guessing that move was welcomed by my neighbor who is no longer in contact with my left side.
My right leg, hip, arm and protruding belly are now taking up about a fourth of the thin aisle on this CRJ900 plane. We won’t be in the air long enough to get the beverage service, so I don’t have to worry about squeezing back into my uncomfortable position to avoid being clipped by a cart. I did just get in the way of a passenger headed to the bathroom. He twisted sideways but couldn’t avoid brushing up against me.
I used the words “normal size” in regards to my body a few sentences ago, but I realize there is nothing normal about my expansive state of being.
Normal-sized people don’t have part of one bum cheek partially hanging over the seat.
Normal-sized people aren’t worried if they’ll fit in a seat or if they’ll annoy their thinner neighbor.
Normal-sized people aren’t asked to switch seats to go to the side of the small plane with two passengers per row instead of one to balance the weight of the plane.
Normal people don’t consider changing flights to perhaps catch a redeye to avoid a middle seat.
Normal people don’t ask about getting a “More of Me to Love Belt.” That is what I call the seatbelt extender. I find that creative name less humiliating to ask for, and it almost always makes flight attendants chuckle.
I briefly nodded off again.
And, while editing this, again.
And again.
Normal-sized people don’t stand on their bathroom scale, like I did before embarking on this trip Sunday, and see the black digital numbers 3-6-6 flash on the gray screen.
That was four days ago. I bet I’ve gained three or four pounds since then.
That Wow! size container of poutine was probably 2-3 pounds of potatoes, gravy, cheese curds and calories. WOW is right!
My goal while in Toronto for a brief two-day business trip was to experience the Canadian culinary concoction “poutine.” That happened yesterday at lunch. I ordered a “Wow!” size portion of French fries drenched in brown gravy and topped with cheese curds. It was enough food to feed a small village. It was so much that I only ate about two-thirds. I added extra calories to that gut bomb of a meal by drinking a bottle of full strength Canada Dry ginger ale and by dipping part of the poutine into ketchup. Have to admit, that combo of savory gravy and sweet tomato sauce with cheese and fried spuds was delightful.
While in Canada, I also ate quite a few ketchup chips (yes, I have a ketchup problem), a large bag of peanut butter and chocolate cups …
Ugh. The flight attendant just reminded me that I need to put the aisle armrest down for the landing, so the hard piece of plastic is digging into my right side, causing uncomfortable sharp pain again.
We landed and I put it back up, so at least that didn’t last long.
In Canada, I also ate a large bag of a hard toffee-chocolate candy, a good-sized bag of chocolate-covered Kit Kats, nachos, a large mango chicken burrito with a creamy sauce and a ketchup-covered omelette with bacon, toast with raspberry jelly and fried potatoes.
It all tasted great.
It all made me feel horrible.
We’re now pulling up to the gate. I’m about to take off the More of Me to Love (Loathe?) Belt.
Now I’m hoping I don’t have to walk too far to catch my connection.
At least I was able to quickly jump out of my cramped seat so I could stand in the aisle while waiting to disembark from my flight.
The guy in 17D just looked at me. I’m guessing he is thinking that he’s relieved to have not sat by me.
He sat next to a normal-sized woman. They probably had a normal, comfortable flight.
That sounds nice. Really, really nice.
By the way, this is what I look like sleeping in a plane. This was taken by my friend and fellow Jazz beat writer, Aaron Falk of the Salt Lake Tribune, who appears envious of my snoozing ability. This was on the flight from Detroit to Memphis. I was too busy sleeping to write on this flight.
Im at about 320 right now. I feel your pain. I am too stubborn to get a seat belt extendor, but i have had a reprieve from travel in my travel-heavy job that ends next week and i think this might be the trip that makes me get one.
On one of my last trips i was slated to sit in the middle seat between two gentlemen. My worst nightmare. When i got to my seat, a twenty-something man said that the guy on the aiske had been upgraded and that i could sit there. I thought I had dodged a bullet. When we landed i was walking to the baggage carousel and i heard this same twenty-something telling a guy “you really dodged a bullet. You should have seen how fat the guy was that was going to sit between us!” I looked over and got his attention and said, ” I’m right here!” He said (unabashedly to his friend), “you see!? Dodged a real bullet!!”
Oh yeah, and my biss made a hurtful fat joke about me yesterday in front of a large group of coworkers, some that i out rank and am working to have their respect.
I feel for you man! I was there and I healed myself. It’s not your fault. Your eating addiction most likely stems from a trauma you experienced as a child. I reached 300lbs and became suicidal. I was spiraling and was ready to give up. That’s when I found ayahuasca. maybe you know what it is maybe you don’t. But after 18 days in the Amazon your food addiction will be gone forever. It’s the toughest thing I have ever done in my life. But I would do again and again. I’m actually on my way back for a tune up. Dealing with childhood trauma is near impossible on your own especially for me since my brain protected me from the incident by locking up the memories. I only had my body as proof that something happened. Anyway sometimes you reach a point where you have to do something that mainstream society doesn’t acknowledge. Ayahuasca doesn’t treat the symptoms. It treats the disease and that’s what you need help with. Diets treat the symptoms. Counseling treats the symptoms. Treat the disease! Anyway I’m available until tomorrow and then I’m off to the jungle. Email me if I can help! I see your pain and would be more than happy to help!
Hi, Great article. Sending hugs C.
Good article! I wish you the best on your struggles to lose weight. //I used to struggle with acid reflux until I came across a random tip to “sleep on your left side instead of your right side” (if you are a side-sleeper). I don’t remember what the reasoning was, but ever since then I haven’t had any problems. None. Zero, Zip.
As a plus size woman hovering at the 205 lb range, I feel your pain. I recently flew to Louisiana and back from Upstate NY. On three of the flights, the seat belt barely fit me. I didn’t have to ask for the seat belt extender but it was close. The seats on these planes are getting smaller as the size of the average American gets larger. Only on one flight the seats were of adequate size and the seat belt was long enough.
Jody you are the man!! An incredible writer and even more incredible personality. You have so many talents and abilities. Please know how wonderful you are.
I used a Medifast diet and lost about 30 pounds in 30 days. Others have lost up to 100 pounds on this diet. It is a grab and go diet so you can just take your food with you everywhere you go. I recommend a health coach to help you during the diet. Here is my coach. http://nuyouhealth.com. You can beat this!
I am a huge fan and hope for your success.
I feel your pain! Last flight I was on, I ended up 2 inches into the second extender. So embarrassing! The woman next to me was tiny, but still scrunched up against her husband to avoid touching me. That was my last flight. I refuse to fly until I get some of the weight off, which would work if I actually did something about it!
The previous comment about acid reflux was correct. The reason being, our stomach is in a “d” shape. If you lay on your left, the food and acid stays in the bowl. On the right, there is no bowl, causing everything to go up the line, which is the esophagus.
Anyway, good luck!
Hi Jody,
I was touched and affected after reading your article. The topic is something I’ve been extremely interested and obsessed with since I’ve had a crippling week-long attack of extreme acid reflux several years ago, together with my triglyceride level reaching 1,000+ mg/dL, a dangerous level far from the normal range of max. 150 mg/dL and getting worse. I tried many things: rigorous exercise, eating less fat, ‘healthy carbs’, etc. but nothing seemed to work and I felt like crap every day.
Eventually, by accident, I found something that worked that took me by surprise because it was so counterintuitive. A lot has been written about it before but the essence is reducing sugar, starches (bread, rice, wheat products, grains) and eating more fat (yup, I told you it was counterintuitive.)
There’s a nice blog post explaining it here:
http://www.thefatemperor.com/blog/2014/8/4/jimmy-moores-keto-clarity-a-review
It recommends Jimmy Moore’s book which is an excellent resource. I’ve also read Robb Wolf’s and Loren Cordain’s books on paleo eating which essentially were the books that saved my life.
I tried to document what I went through here: https://coffeefriday.wordpress.com/2016/01/13/high-triglycerides-a-true-story-part-2/ . It’s kind of long-winded, and the essence is eating low carb and ‘paleo’/’ketogenic’. But I thought it might interest some people who read your post.
Sorry for the unsolicited advice, you’re probably tired of getting so much of it. But I just want to let you know and others what I think works, just try it for several days and I think you’ll feel the difference right away. We need to keep you writing for the Jazz for a long time!
thanks,
rob
JODY,
I feel for you. I am overweight myself now , but am taking my life back. I have an answer for you if you are interested. Next Saturday March 12th, you could come listen to why we gain weight and what we can do about it. It is about nutrition……….but much more. Our food and thus our bodies are TOXIC. Let me know if you are interested. No pressure………just educational.
JODY –
Thank you for writing this article. I felt particularly embarrassed by my realization that I’m the guy who – in your own words – “is thinking that he’s relieved to have not sat by me.’
This column made me angry at myself for my lack of empathy and ability to seek to understand what it’s like for you and anyone in your situation. Maybe I’m mad at myself because you and I have been friends for a long time and because we’re friends I’d love an opportunity to sit by you and catch up – Yet – when I sit by others on a plane who are equipped with the ‘more of me to love’ belt I’m instead grumbling for my bad luck of row-mates.
So – I apologize. You should never have to feel like that for any reason.
Pat
Just a serious question – if a “normal” sized person is sitting next to the fat person, will you be embarrassed if the normal person asks to move to a different seat? I was in the last row tonight in the window seat, but there was no window, so even less room. The middle seat man weighed about 325 and was about 6’3″. I was so scrunched. I wanted to ask to move but didn’t want to embarrass the man. On the other hand, we would have both been more comfy if I moved. Will the overweight folks be offended if others ask to move?
Personally, I’m already embarrassed by my weight. As to being offended, it’s sad that you feel you have to suffer in silence so as to not hurt someone’s feelings. I felt so bad for the lady that had to scrunch up against her husband because I was taking up part of her seat. I don’t see anything wrong with asking if you’re truly being courteous. If a person is being rude – well they can suffer. 😉. It’s hard to know what to do, but I would understand why you would want to move.
The solution to this problem is to plan ahead to ensure that you have enough space to accomodate you before you board. It is unnaceptable to enter the plane and expect the passengers sat either side of you to share their seats – they have paid for 1 full seat, as have you. You should ensure that the space and size of the seat you have purchased is suitable or speak to the airline and see if they have a solution if you think you may not be able to fit (for whatever reason)
This ensures that you have enough space for your body without encroaching onto the space of someone else – nobody is entitled to the space of anyone else.
“The narrow blue Delta seat”. Holy crap!! The seat is good; you are just to fat and should buy two seats.
Every calory is just getting through the mouth. As simple as that. Addiction?? Pathetic. Be strong and eat less.